11/12/08
Addiction and Withdrawal
If the first step is admitting you have a problem, then here goes...
I need help.
It's about Palin.
I know hearing her, watching her, reading about her makes me feel bad, and yet I can't stop. I don't want to pay attention anymore, and yet I can't tear myself away. I know her incoherent rambling and incessant lying - and TV reporters' failure to call her on it - will leave me feeling empty inside, but still...I tune in. I don't know what I think I am going to get. I don't know why I expect this time is going to be different. This time someone will look her in the eye and say, "Huh?"
I've told myself I can quit anytime I want, but I can't. I know because I want to. I really, really do.
Catching her in absurdities used to be marginally gratifying, but now, I get nothing. Not even the initial high. No one cares. It's so demoralizing.
And yet as long as the dealers - the TV people - are still out there trolling for customers, I fear I'll be tempted to try it again, just this once.
The only solution is commiting to quitting cold turkey. Just picking a day and saying, "No more! I'm done!"
Maybe tomorrow.
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