Case In Point

Match message received last night:

hi

Totally unsolicited advice, and I really mean no harm by it . . . but your profile may actually scare off someone you like. It comes across as very negative -- like you're hard to please. My suggestion is to just keep it a bit more positive...and just politely ignore e-mails or winks from men you're not interested in.

I have the best intentions in sending this . .

M

My response:

No offense taken. If someone's scared off by what I'm looking for in a partner, then he's not the right guy for me. I don't think knowing what you want - and saying it - is a bad thing.

Match has proven to be less than impressive so far in so many ways. I have no expectations. And if my profile helps cut down on some of the ridiculousness I have to sift through, then it's serving its purpose. The right guys get the tone and find it amusing and/or refreshing. The rest are not my kind of guys.

Thanks though. I do appreciate the good intentions.

For the record, the random compliments on my profile - the words, not just the pictures - far outnumber any other type of email correspondence thus far.

Lowest Common Denominator

In case you think I'm exaggerating, the following are the 5 Daily Picks Match.com has selected for me today. Keep in mind I have a cat, I have been in DC for more than 5 years, and after living in too many apartments with impossibly tiny kitchens, I am just now starting to teach myself to cook.

He shares the same birth month!
Like you, he'd like to have kids someday.
You share culinary interests.

Like you, he's a dog lover.
You both love playing sports.
He matches your liberal view of politics.

Like you, he's a dog lover.
You both love playing sports.
He's not a smoker.

You both love playing sports.
Like you, he'd like to have kids someday.
Both of you are into swimming.

He has a graduate degree.
Running is an interest for both of you.
You're both new to the area.

Quote of the Day: Way to Make a Girl Feel Special Edition

"I myself intend to get married and have kids....[T]here are more unmarried babes on one page of match than within miles of my usual round-trip. Good odds!"

- the hopeless romantic who emailed me on Match last night

My New Favorite Website

27b/6

I know it's not new, but it's new to me. Start here.

ReMatch

I couldn't resist. I played with the profile again:

Just shy of two weeks now. Necessary additions to the update chain:

1. No images? Really? I don't consider furniture on Craigslist that doesn't have a photo. I'm certainly not going to correspond with a guy who won't show me what he looks like.

2. If you're under 30, I'm flattered. Not interested. But flattered. Thank you.

3. Self-portraits taken with a cell phone and a mirror are a bad idea. Topless self-portraits are just wrong. (h/t C)

4. Hey Match, could your Daily 5 algorithm be less scientific? His liking dogs and sharing my birth month doesn't make us a good fit. I don't need 29 levels of compatibility, but one decent one would be nice.

Okay, now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Numbers Game

It's been a little more than a week since I decided to give Match another go. So far, 1032 guys have looked. 60 have winked. And about 45 have sent emails. As for prospects, I've responded to 3.

That's not true. I did tell the 25-year-old he was very sweet for reaching out, but it wasn't going to happen, and he would be better off spending his energy elsewhere.

As for the 3, I'm not writing home about anyone just yet. They're simply the three who seem to have a brain.

Based on correspondence and a quick profile scan, the other 1029 appear to share one.

Quote of the Day

"You had a raisin bagel reaction? That must have been some raisin."

-nurse at the doctor's office when I explained I should prolly lie down as she took my blood b/c I had a vasovagal reaction after a blood draw on Tuesday.

It's been a rough week for both Emmy and me. The good news is everyone's okay now. But she had massive dental surgery to remove a lot of bad teeth that were causing her excruciating pain, and I was rushed by ambulance to Georgetown University Hospital from the Dupont metro station after my body thought it had lost too much blood and started shutting down flow to things it considers nonessential. Like arms.

Spooky stuff all around. I'm glad it's Friday. Happy weekend.