To Tide You Over

I will leave you for the weekend with a trio of goodies.

First, check out this video of a mom in Kentucky. She's 28 inches tall and just gave birth to a baby 18.5 inches long. Once you get past the ouch factor, take a sec to absorb this woman's positive spirit. Impressive.

Second, the poem of the week's been posted.

Finally, don't forget to check out the The Huffington Post's Living section on Sunday morning. John's gone hunting for poetry on the campaign trail.

Out for now. Have a good one.

1440 Minutes to Kill

Miss Lindsay comes through once again with a quality installment of "Seriously Florida, WTF?" This is your Leap Year edition:

ORLANDO, Fla. -- One Orlando man is celebrating leap year in a unique way.

Brian Feldman will be leaping from the top of a 12-foot-high ladder at Orlando City Hall - 366 times.

He's expected to be there the entire day.

image: Liberatr.net flickr photo

MEANWHILE ELSEWHERE IN FLORIDA:

MIAMI - Police are responding in force at a Miami high school where a big fight broke out. Video from television news helicopters showed more than a dozen students being hauled away in handcuffs.

(...)

Miami Edison recently celebrated its move from a designation of an "F" or failing school to "D." Last year, only 10 percent of students met reading standards. Less than a third met state math standards.

Hasn't she suffered enough?

Janet's wardrobe malfunction was offensive? Really?

I'll take a good nipple slip over this any day.

Potty Training

Had to trek back out to the Apple store this morning. Yesterday's flyby was a bust. But the good news is that this all seems to be a router issue and not a system issue. So even though we don't have a solution, in my eyes, we've got progress, and I'm ok with that.

I also learned something new today. Apparently, I should not be jogging with my iPod. See, it's got moving parts, and the moving parts...well...move when you jog. If I intend to run with my iPod, I've just been told, I should buy a mini or a shuffle. Nevermind that Apple sells the athletic armband that I own and have used without issue for several years now. I am much better off buying an entirely new Apple product. Oh, and as for the whole "my iPod dies in cold weather" thing, that one was met with the most hand-caught-in-the-cookie-jar grin I've seen in a long time.

But enough of my pseudodrama. This woman's got real problems.

An Apple A Day

I am having issues with my Mac today.

This - however - is not a surprise. I have issues at least once every couple of months. Apple has admitted to me there were some quirks with an early batch of Macbooks, and I - lucky me - seem to be the proud owner of the most dysfunctional of the class. Instead of just offering to replace mine once and for all, Apple distracts me with a shiny new promise of "all better now!" each time I haul myself out to their store in the 'burbs.

I'm planning to make my umpteenth trip to the Genius Bar again this afternoon.

I just realized that's kind of sad. I'm a regular at a bar...in a computer store.

Project Cowboy

Just a heads up that I am going to be offline and out-of-pocket for much of the day today.

But I didn't want to leave y'all entirely empty-handed. Friends keep calling to ask if I've seen Ali Velshi's reports from Texas. More specifically, they want to know if I've seen Ali's ensemble in his reports from Texas.

I've only been able to punch up one from CNN so far (and you have to struggle through the requisite :20 preroll ad to get there), but the getup's not half as bad as I had anticipated.

I heard rumors of fringe, and offhand, I cannot think of an instance in which that would be a good idea. Plus, Ali's a friend, and I suspect people are contacting me because - most importantly - friends don't let friends wear fringe.

Insert Joke Here

Making the rounds online, Senator Larry Craig's now looking for interns.

I've got nothing to add that can do this justice.

CLARIFICATION: I am not insinuating Craig is in any way associated with Mark Foley-esque behavior. I am, however, suggesting Craig may not be an appropriate role model for one's children.

Net Art

Morning. Via Americablog, this is oddly amusing. You just drag your mouse around the screen and make art. Click to change colors.

The site was created in 2003 by artist Miltos Manetas. A collection of his other websites is here.

That's what's so great about the Internet. Old things can be new again because they are continually being rediscovered in a universe that is constantly growing.

painting: MANETAS/COMPUTERS/CABLES / 239 - 10/01/2008

Democratic Infighting

Assuming many politicos don't read Perez, I'll help spread this one.

The Smoking Gun's got the deets on the man who stabbed his brother-in-law in the stomach. The two were arguing over politics.

The complaint says Ortiz (the stabber) backs Clinton while Shurelds (the stabbee) backs Obama.

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess there was alcohol involved.

It's New(s) to You

I suppose everything old is news again if you wait long enough.

This article posted today comes from "O, The Oprah Magazine" circa June 2003.

Have we officially run out of fresh ideas?

Look Ma, No Brain

In this week's edition of "Seriously Florida, WTF?", Miss Lindsay brings us the story of 59-year-old Peggy Cioffi who decided to drink - to the tune of a 0.336 blood alcohol level - and get behind the wheel of a car.

Dumbass runs an educational program for people on probation for DUI.

Gratuitous Filler

Apologies for the slow morning. I had some things to take care of that required my undivided this AM.

There's a rumor swirling that Ed Litvak - the EP of American Morning at CNN - has resigned was fired. I'm waiting for further confirmation and details.



UPDATE: Confirmation obtained.

CLARIFICATION: Report above says "is leaving," but inside sources say fired.

Strong Enough for a Man

It's been a nice Saturday. I even managed to swallow my pride and venture out in public.

Quick programming note. Tomorrow morning's essay is not going to be as advertised. Charlie Sheen's been preempted by a strong argument against poetry's fluffy image.

Don't ask. Just read it.

Mr. Sheen will be back a week from tomorrow.

I am stuck on Band-aids...

All done, and SO not cute. I'm laying low for the time being.

In brighter news, the latest poem of the week is posted.

And don't forget to hit up the Living section of The Huffington Post on Sunday morning for John's weekly column.

If you think the Amy Winehouse fans were rough, just wait until he takes on Charlie Sheen.

You're So Vain

You probably think this post is about you. But it's not. It's about me.

I've had this odd trio of skin-colored moles on my face for as long as I can remember. You never notice them until I point them out (or so I've been told). They never bothered me all that much, but then recently, I picked up a fourth under my right eye. The new kid on the block concerned me a little so I trekked off the doctor. He too expressed a little concern over the newbie and suggested I have him extradited. I'm sending his three little accomplices with him.

The mini-surgery was scheduled for a couple of weeks from now, but thanks to the crappy weather, I just got a call that someone cancelled and the doc can see me today.

So come this afternoon, I will be quite the vision. Rumor has it I'm going to have to keep the crime scenes covered up for about a week.

I'm slightly frightened and most definitely completely unreasonably mortified at the prospect.

A little vain? Perhaps. But isn't acknowledgment the first step to recovery?

I'm working on it.

Settle Down Now

Morning. Looks like the weatherpeople sort of kind of got it rightish this time. I didn't see much snow last night before we turned in, but there is a considerable amount of ice on the ground now so I'm assuming we got the wintry mix as anticipated.

In other unrelated yet equally chilly news, a girlfriend emailed around this article last night and asked for input. It's long so I'll give you the gist in a nutshell. If you're not married, you should think about settling for someone you may not be all that into because marriage sucks in the long run anyway and having a partner in the trenches with you - no matter how mediocre said partner may be - is better than going it alone.

I'm mortified by the message and think Lori Gottlieb - though I am sure she's a lovely woman - needs therapy.

I would also add that many of my girlfriends who are married with children share the following nugget of wisdom that completely contradicts Gottlieb's thesis:

Marriage is hard which makes it even that much more important that you start out with someone you're wild about and love truly and deeply. The foundation supports the house. Seems the foundation Gottlieb's advocating wouldn't support a pup tent, let alone a home.

Talk about unsettling.

Guess whose building has no heat this morning.

Good thing it's a balmy 21 degrees outside.

Oh, and if you're under the impression this is a first, have a gander here and here.

And here.

Happy Thursday.

Speaking of Leaks

For those of you who are new to my little corner of the Interwebs, you should start here to get a sense of context.

But I came home from a jog today to find the second floor apartment door wide open. Inside, the plumber was standing on a ladder in the bathroom. Above him...a giant hole in the ceiling. And water streaming down from somewhere above.

Somewhere above = my apartment.

This isn't a shock. They just fixed (for the third time) the pipes in my tub. I know because I still have the hole in the floor to show for it. But this new leak is allegedly coming from my sink. There's some plan of attack now in place that appears to involve tackling the pipes from both above and below. Step one of said assault is currently underway. Step two's on tap for this afternoon.

I've been warned to tread lightly should I need to use the facilities at some point today. Seems there's a floor beam that's been drilled through to accommodate the leaking pipes, and that's now on the verge of a breakdown.

Safe to say, me too.

UPDATE: My downstairs neighbor just came home. They've ripped out his entire bathroom ceiling. From my "top down" perspective, I can see light through the thin tiling that's still somewhat in place. The plumber and handyman say it's ok to use the bathroom as long as I don't step in the corner where the light's coming through. What's not ok by me is that my neighbor and I can now hear each other using the bathroom. Way too much information for my comfort.

Ignoring the Trade secrets Embargo

Who's leaking *CNN Superdesk emails?

Babalu Blog is a source we used to check often for South Florida/Cuba-related news. Now someone's handed Val an internal guidance email that probably wasn't meant for mass consumption.

A general outline of the email first popped up here.

I don't care so much what the International Desk is circulating re: How to Cover Castro. I do find it fascinating that the ship seems to be oozing from the inside out.

UPDATE: Just had a chat with Val. Seems we're dealing with more than one little leak. He got the same exact content from two independent sources obviously requesting anonymity.

Before you say, "so what?" - Val had this to add:

I had read and watched CNN's reports yesterday – prior to any knowledge of the email – and found them somewhat biased, but once I had the email in question noticed that the reporters and journalists had followed their instructions to a tee. I wasn't surprised originally – I've always expected bias from CNN - but in light of the directive, I was completely flabbergasted.

Anchor's Away

Actual on-air conversation today. Emphasis mine.

REPORTER: Let's talk about interest rates first, for just a second. Credit card companies can change them for any reason or no reason whenever they want to. Under the terms of this bill, they would have to give you 45 days notice. That could give you the power to get a new credit card if you wanted to roll over that amount of money you have on the credit card so you wouldn't have to pay the new amounts.

ANCHOR: Also you can get -- they can just raise your interest rates for any reason.

REPORTER: That's right. That's what I was just saying. They can raise your rates for any reason or no reason. They have to give you notice but not the time frame involved. Under Maloney's bill they'd have to give you the terms of the bill. They'd have to give you 45 days notice.

For the record, I don't watch this station anymore. Someone emailed it to me. I double-checked the transcript and then posted.

What does it say when the person conducting the interview can't be bothered to pay attention?

Resetting the Bar

Chez' exit interview is up over at his blog and at The Huffington Post.

I'm flattered he felt inclined to mention our conversation and to speak so candidly about my sudden departure from CNN.

But nevermind where I've been. I'm here now, and I'm having fun. Come on in.

What're you drinking?

When Endorsements Matter

How did I miss this news yesterday?

Ben & Jerry are backing Obama:

The founders of Ben & Jerry's endorsed Barack Obama on Monday, and lent his Vermont campaign two "ObamaMobiles" that will tour the state and give away scoops of "Cherries for Change" ice cream.

Vermont votes March 4th.

We're on the road today so posting will be light.

As much as I bask in the joy of discovering a random hotspot at the local Sheetz, I think I may forgo said pleasure for a little offline downtime.

Duck!

UPDATE: I woke up this morning humming this tune and realized we don't know exactly what it says. I'm hoping - with good faith in humanity - that it is just as fun and innocent as it appears. But should it turn out to be something awful, I apologize in advance. And at that point, I will take it down.

What Heaven Looks Like

*sigh*

But why buy your culture in bulk when you can savor one poem at a time?

This week's Poem of the Week is now on the shelf.

Also don't forget to stop in Sunday for John's essay in the Living section of The Huffington Post.

As usual, I got a sneak peek at the merchandise. You can try to make me tell you what it's about, but I'd say no, no, no.

Have a good weekend.

There May Be No Why

You're probably going to hear a lot about Stephen Kazmierczak in the coming days. He's the gunman who opened fire in a Northern Illinois University lecture hall yesterday.

You'll probably hear more about him than about the five students he killed and the fifteen he injured as investigators, reporters, and the public all try to figure out why. Why he armed himself with a shotgun and three handguns and mowed down innocent victims. Why he snapped. Why he decided other people had to die. We will dissect his motives, his actions, his medication, his upbringing, his environment, and yet we may very well walk away unsatisfied. There may be no why.

There wasn't when Melissa died.

She was murdered May 5th, 1995.

Two weeks away from college graduation.

Melissa lived a couple blocks down from me growing up in Miami. She went to public school. I was in private. But we hung out on weekends, and she introduced me to her infinitely cooler group of friends. She was the kindest, gentlest, sweetest young woman you would ever know. She never passed judgment. She never made waves. She was just smart and pure and fun to be around. And she was a good friend.

Melissa and I drifted apart when we went away to college. In fact, I think we saw each other the summer after sophomore year for the last time. It just happens when you grow up. No particular reason. Just life getting in the way.

Then senior year, I got the news. And sadly, I found out too late. It was after the funeral. After the initial collective shock and grief. After I'd had the chance to pay my respects in person.

Not being able to say good-bye to Melissa has always bothered me. A lot. And I've spent a lot of time over the years trying to dig up as much information as I could about what happened to Melissa that night. From what I've been told, I know she was leaving a restaurant with a girlfriend, and they were ambushed as they approached the car. I know two men with guns shot Melissa point blank, ignoring her pleas to take whatever they wanted and just not hurt her. I know they threw her in the back of the car and drove to some secluded place. I know they did horrible things to her friend. I know they killed Melissa and left her friend for dead. I know Melissa didn't go without pain. I know they left pain behind. Melissa's father's story is here.

And to this day, more than 12 years later, I think of Melissa whenever I hear a college kid's been shot. Because I know what Melissa had to offer the world. That we'd all be better off having more Melissas.

I don't mean to cast a shadow over your Friday, but in the wake of yesterday's inexplicable horror at Northern Illinois University, it seemed appropriate to mention. It also gives me the opportunity to draw attention to The Melissa Institute though I'd rather there had never been a need - nor were ever a need again - for the institute at all.

I'm off to Costco. I've been informed I am not allowed to purchase anything I don't have room to store.

But if I happen to run into a big box of cheese snacks, all bets are off.

He Done Good

Signif's got the romance down to a science. I was a happy camper last night.

In other news, I suspected weighing in on the whole Chez sitch might stir the pot a touch, but isn't that inherently what the Internet's for?

Besides porn.

If you're new to the party, welcome. Mingle a little. I started writing back in August after leaving CNN. My audience is small but loyal, and I try my best to keep it light and fun and somewhat smart from time to time.

I'll add some turkey meat to the stew later on today, but for now, feel free to pick through the leftovers. You've got six months of catching up to do.

My Valentine to Myself

Chez has gotten more than 100 comments on his blog since CNN fired him. Almost all are supportive. And then there's this one:

anonymous said...
How can you be so dumb, after 16 years in TV you thought you could get away by writing your opinions about current affairs and such under your true identity? I mean what were you thinking!!! And hello your bio mentions that you work for CNN. No matter how personal your opinion is, it will still reflect on the company that you work for. Heck, you know there are journalists who don't vote so that their coverage of news remains unbiased!!!! This is not just about freedom of speech its about journalistic integrity. Who the fuck wants to know about your personal opinion when as a journalist you gotta remain unbiased. If not that you could have atleast tried using some common sense. Of course they were going to fire you when you start writing for a well known website. And guess what pal, as hard as it may sound, you are not likely to land a job in a major network anytime soon. Everyone has the same ground rule and if you owned a media company you would too. Good luck and next time sit back and "think" a little.
From a fellow AMer

Ask me why I care.

Because years ago, I probably would have felt the same way as this guy. Chez took a huge risk knowing full well his company was more likely than not to frown on the endeavor and dismiss him unceremoniously. He doesn't deserve one ounce of sympathy for that.

However, after being in the news business for more than a decade myself and having walked the hallowed halls of the company that let Chez go, I can in good conscience say that Chez was the better journalist - and in some regards, the better man - for the opinions he put out on current affairs. He never lied about who he was. He never hid the fact that he worked in news. The network wasn't dialed in enough online to find him until his name hit The Huffington Post three weeks ago even though he had plenty of loyal readers long before that moment. Chez never claimed to write on behalf of CNN, and the absurd notion that journalists don't have a personal opinion or are somehow required to shed all shadows of common sense and humanity in order to deliver facts as facts is so very much a part of what's shred the business to bits.

CNN made a mistake in failing to lay out an appropriate anti-blogging policy even though this is not the first time this issue's come up...in the same building. Have we learned nothing? Make people sign something saying they will not keep a personal blog during their time of employment at CNN because said journal may inadvertently reflect upon the corporation. If CNN's that concerned, then lay it out there. Someone doesn't want to sign it? Fine. Go work somewhere else. You have that right too. But don't tiptoe around the issue because you want to seem all hip and cool and Internet-savvy and blog-friendly. You're either embracing the new medium or running from it. You can't jog alongside it and then complain when it sprints for the finish line without you.

Love him or hate him, Chez was nothing if not honest. About his past. About his future. And about what he thought of the industry we both adored and are now somewhat ashamed to have called a calling. Plenty of people get paid plenty of dollars to voice feelings under the umbrella of news outlets. And as I said yesterday, the networks, in turn, make plenty of money off those feelings. Chez threw his on the table for free.

I - for one - wanted to know about his personal opinion. Not his opinion as an unbiased journalist turning wire copy into quippy AM prompter copy. But as a sharp writer with talent for turning the thoughts most are too timid to share into essays you want to share with everyone.

Chez doesn't care to land another job at a major network anytime soon because the Internet now lets him do better work elsewhere.

And if you - fellow AMer - think the collection of corporate suits in that major media network value your objective journalistic talent and commitment for even the slightest of seconds, you're the one who hasn't thought it through.

This - as a journalist - I know for a fact.

Only in DC

Happy Valentine's Day

Give the Man an Ultimate Fighting Chance

In anticipation of Valentine's Day, my awesome friend Jon shares his shot at love gone awry:

So, I'm driving to work this morning listening to Joe Rose on WQAM and he starts talking about how he works with two women at Channel 6 that he can't believe are single. He was having a conversation with them last night at work about how they can't meet any quality guys. So with Valentine's Day around the corner, Joe took it upon himself to attempt to fix up these two women on the air this morning.

One of the women is Jennifer Gray, the weather person for Channel 6, who's very attractive. So when I got to work, I wrote the following email:

Subject: Disaster written all over it

Joe,

While I enjoy your show and listen to you almost everyday, I'm slowly learning to not be surprised by the trouble that you seem to get yourself into. That being said, I'm sure that you've dug yourself a pretty deep hole with the two lovely women that you work with by attempting to set them up, blindly, on the radio. Sure, you're intentions are noble, but it has disaster written all over it.

That fact, however, is not stopping me from 'throwing my hat into the ring' for a shot at dating Jennifer Gray. Though I don't know anything about her personally, I'm willing to take your word for it that she's as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.

Anyway, more about me can be found here:

Jon's Online Dating Profile

And if I look familiar to you, it means you have a very good memory. I used to work for WSVN in the sports department as a producer, back when Ducis was the number one. We've met numerous times out on locations, but that was many moons ago.

Take care.

About an hour later, I get this back:

CONGRATS JON

YOU WON OUR MAILSACK CONTEST TODAY AND WE WILL LEAVE YOUR NAME ON THE LIST FOR THE KIMBO SLICE/TANK ABBOTT FIGHT ON SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE BANK UNITED CENTER...CONGRATS ENJOY AND WE LET YOU KNOW THURSDAY ALSO ABOUT OUR DATE A NBC ANCHOR CONTEST!!!!!!!

KEEP LISTENING!!!!!!!!!

Looks like someone might have a hot date for Valentine's Day. Awww yeah!

I love my friends.

Actions v. Words

Chez Pazienza is a talented writer. He's been a bona fide guilty pleasure (stage left) since I started my site because I like his style. I tend to believe there should be more of it. Blunt. Honest. Sharp. Envelope-shoving. Etc.

And in keeping with his tendency to spill it all, he'll be the first to admit he knew this day might come. That he may lose his gig at CNN.

However, I think this sets a lousy precedent.

1. Though you didn't have to be a brain surgeon to figure out where Chez worked, he never said it.

2. Chez claims he never blogged from work. He admits he checked in on his comments, and he scanned the web. Know someone who works at a computer who hasn't? Doubt it.

3. You wouldn't know Chez from Adam in relation to CNN. He's not a name or a face of the company. In fact, calling him a producer was probably an overstatement seeing as how his job duties had been relegated to turning AP wires into prompter copy. There was no "steering the editorial direction of the news" involved whatsoever.

4. He didn't just start the blog. He's been writing online for a year-and-a-half. CNN only found his little corner of the web once his corner got a little bigger. And nowhere along the way in that year-in-a-half had his work raised suspicion in regard to his ability to write news copy in an unbiased manner.

5. CNN puts Glenn Beck, Jack Cafferty, Lou Dobbs, and Nancy Grace on air everyday with no shortage of opinions. It's clear they speak for themselves but with the sanction of the network that affords them airtime. Had Chez gone to management to get approval for his blog, they would have refused. I don't have one ounce of doubt about it considering what I was and wasn't allowed to do during my tenure. So what is CNN saying? You're allowed to express your opinion if you work for us, but only if we can make money off said opinion? Because it seems to me that's the only distinction between what the talent's doing and what the writer's doing.

I started writing online after leaving the network because it was refreshing to be me again without constraint. I never jeopardized my career while at CNN because I respected the rules in place to protect the institution. Not anymore.

Never again.

keep your government off of my baseball

The risks of using PEDs: overrated.

The effects of PEDs on baseball: negligible.

Fan outrage? Wake me up when fans actually care. If MLB really worried that the integrity of the game might be compromised, they would probably do something about it.

After all, baseball is a game. Its players necessarily abide by otherwise arbitrary rules that only make sense in the context of baseball. Why do players run the bases in a clockwise direction? Because the rules say so. There is no economic, social, legal, or moral benefit to picking this over counterclockwise. MLB runs the game. They say: clockwise. And so it is.

This may seem self-evident to you, but on a day like today it doesn’t to me. Not on a day when the Capitol Hill for the House Oversight committee decides to intimidate aging athletes – again. Not on a day when it feels compelled to seek clarity on matters such as 1. parties attended by Jose Canseco and 2. Roger Clemens’ glutes. As far as I know, the Constitution doesn’t give the Federal Government the authority to regulate baseball. What am I missing?

-ST

Best...Signif...Ever

He secretly replaced a website that gives me anxiety with Lolcats.

So when I click on the bookmark in my browser, I get this

and this

instead.

Capitol Punishment

The same way I feel the powers that be overstepped some serious boundaries during the whole Terri Schiavo fiasco, I think Congress has bigger fish to fry than steroids in baseball.

Let the league, the owners, the coaches deal with it. I'm not seeing the justification for government investigation.

I've asked a smart contributor to weigh in on the debacle. If he's got some time to do so today, it will be here later. Stay tuned.

UPDATE: As promised.

Tale of the Tape

MSNBC just switched from Obama's speech to McCain's.

My signif: "Once again, the contrast is staggering."

Gone in an Instant

Per Perez (yes I read Perez), I just found out Polaroid's not making cameras or film anymore.

I have a Polaroid camera. I love it. While I doubt I can singlehandedly keep the company alive by stocking up, I'm totally going out to buy what I can tomorrow.

I'm supersad now.

Path to 500

I lied. I'm too excited not to weigh in. I've decided to liveblog...

the vote for Joe Biden!

It's still early in Virginia. We're not sure what precincts have reported yet. We're counting on the north north north eastish corner of the state to bring it home.

With 62% of precincts reporting, Biden's at 322. Here's to hitting the big 5-oh...oh.

8:31pm: Big bounce. Huge. In the time it took to link the the Va elections site, we jumped to 368 with 66% reporting. That's 46 votes. 46 people who believe.

8:37pm: 67% reporting and...wait for it...385. Progress, baby, progress.

8:43pm: This is the signif. We've broken 400 ahead of schedule. Jacki is busy phone banking. She's currently on her cell with a very confused old woman. I'm afraid to tell her that the polls have closed.

8:52pm: We're at 447 almost 3/4 reporting. Looks like it could be a big night for Joe.

9:04pm: It's Jax. I'm back. And with 78% reporting, we're holding at 487. Lucky number 13 to go. I'm optimistic. Cautiously optimistic.

My signif is crunching the numbers and - sensing my hesitation- assures me Joe's pace is good, and he's on track to hit 600. He's a dreamer.

9:10pm: We did it! We did it! While I was sobbing in my salad, 80% brought in the magic number...plus one. 501! 501! Everything now is just dressing. Fat free yet still delicious dressing.

9:30pm: In case you're still caring (and I know that you are), it's now 559 votes for Joe with 85% reporting. I'm not going to lie. I'm watching a little American Idol. Checking in on JB. Then watching a little Idol again. I'm that satisfied.

9:52pm: 592 votes at 9:52. Coincidence? I think not.

10:00pm: 615 at 89%. My work here is done.

UPDATE: Checked in at 11:16am just for kicks. With 97% of the precincts reporting, JB hit 792. Not bad for a dude who dropped out January 3rd.

Primarily Distracted

It's primary day here in DC, and in keeping with the theme, I am primarily focused on things besides writing.

So please forgive me for the considerable lack of entertaining content. I intend to return to full speed tomorrow.

p.s. Don't ask what Google image search turned up this gem, but trust me when I tell you it wasn't "kid in frog costume."

Anger in Motion

I used to have a Blackberry. An outage like this would have been infuriating:

Research in Motion Ltd. said customers in the United States and Canada "experienced intermittent delays" for about three hours Monday beginning about 3:30 p.m. EST. RIM said no messages were lost, and voice and text messaging services were unaffected.

...

"I'm mad — it's enough already," said a frustrated Stuart Gold, who said he gets 1,000 e-mails a day as director of field marketing for Web analytics company Omniture Inc.

Gold, who worked most of Monday on a laptop while traveling, plans to ask his company to buy him a backup smart phone from a rival like Palm Inc., which makes the Treo, in case BlackBerry service goes on the blink again.

"I don't know what happened, I don't care what happened. They need to save their excuses for someone who cares," Gold said.

But now that I'm no longer an addict, the fact that someone could get so upset is just kind of funny.

Like Hope But Different

A great parody video of Will.i.am's tribute to Obama is making the rounds today. It's from the same guys that brought you "The Loneliest Icelander."

First this:


Then that:

Let It Ride

I'll reiterate that I'm not openly endorsing, advocating, or otherwise supporting one particular presidential candidate or party just yet.

However, I will chastise Republicans Behaving Badly for antics like this and now this (specifically just not counting votes and then asking Huckabee to drop out before he's actually lost).

Let the process play out. Where's the harm? It may not be what you prefer, but it's what the people want. And isn't that what our government's supposed to be about?

Weekend Inbox

Mom sent through this Smart Marketing test.

It's a smart move by CramerSweeney. Good, fun, quick way to get people to your website.

UPDATE: Signif and I branded together and got 19 of 20 right.

Don't Toy With Me

Since I don't have kids, far be it from me to speak with any authority on the usefulness of rent-and-return toys.

However, from just a casual spectator's perspective...

ewwwwww!

I used to babysit. I hang out with friends' kids now. My signif has a young niece and nephew. And the one thing all tots have in common? They drool! A lot. All over you. All over their stuff. And even though this new kiddie Netflix model claims to clean toys with Clorox wipes, I'm not convinced they're truly sanitary, let alone sterile.

I'm not against donating used toys, but once they're re-adopted, they're (hopefully) given a good scrubbing and then stay put. It's the back and forth over and over again that's got me concerned grossed out.

Baby don't play that.

Tasty!

Your Friday culture scone is fresh out of the oven and cooling here.

Remember to check in late Sunday morning for a second helping here.

Love is on the menu this time around.

Have a great weekend.

No Money for Old Men

Well, that didn't go well.

Yesterday was supposed to be a big online fundraising day for conservatives. F7 was the day to give to the Republican nominee (whoever he may be) to counter the gobs of money being raised on the left.

As of this morning, Rightroots has drummed up $2646 from 32 donors.

Obama's website is claiming 329,496 people have given money so far this year, and the campaign has raised more than $7.5 million since the polls closed on Tuesday. Clinton's campaign reports more than 35,000 donors have contributed in the past 48 hours, and she's now got an extra $4 million on hand.

How much did it cost to get into CPAC? It couldn't have drained all the funds on the right. Right?

Fast Food Fast Facts

Just caught a clip on local news about Diet.com's mobile nutrition info.

Diet.com says: We've given you access to over 36,000 foods from 1700 restaurants in North America!

Here's how it works:

Enter your query as a text message
Send message to the 5-digit US shortcode 34381 (DIET1 on most phones)
Receive text message(s) with results (takes about a minute). You may receive multiple messages labeled "1 of 2", "3 of 5", etc.

You can play around with samples on the website.

The newscast mentioned the service is free, but you'll pay whatever text fees your cell carrier usually charges. I couldn't find any pricing info on the Diet.com site so I'll assume this info's true.

The Segment You Should See Today

The Obama campaign reports having raised more than 7 million dollars online since polls closed in primary states Tuesday night. [circle the big donation counter]

According to an email sent out by campaign manager David Plouffe, 3 million of that money flowed in organically.

But when news broke that Senator Clinton had lent her own campaign $5 million late last month, Plouffe sent out a call for contributions to match that money immediately, and blogs helped spread the word.

Then you'll see some updated quote from the Clinton camp and a matching quote from Obama's press people. Cap it off with a general tidbit about how many more small donors Obama's got than Clinton and how he can go back to them for additional cash, and you've got yourself a bona fide Internet segment all good to go.

Weather or Not

This is the third time in recent weeks we've been told to expect some sort of ice/wind/rain storm and gotten nothing.

What other job allows you to be so wrong so often and still get to keep at it? (besides President, I mean.)

Maybe my next TV gig should be as a weatherperson (Not meteorologist. That takes some work. And math). But if I have to point and circle, I've already honed those skills.

The rest is clearly just guesswork.

Project Awesome

How can you not love a show that sends its contestants to Spandex House?

Can You Hear Me Now?

Want to?

John and Joe were kind enough to ask me back.

I bribe them.

Oh, and I goofed. There are slightly more than 79 superdelegates who haven't endorsed yet. I was clearly still asleep when I allegedly absorbed that number from somewhere.