Plump and Proud

Emmy Gives Up on her New Year's Resolution.

New Year, Same Pressure

Yup, I am one of those people that doesn't like New Year's Eve. There's always so much anxiety leading up to the night. What to do? Where to go? Whom to spend it with?

The most fun I've ever had on "the big night" is the time when I attended a house party at a house where I was staying so there was no commute. The most recent best celebration was a dinner party for a small group of close friends. Mellow. No expectations. Just good wine, good food, and good company.

Last year, we went to a cool little party at a friend's place, but I had to work the next morning so no booze for me. I'm not sure it even counts as a NYE celebration if you're home in bed by 12:15am.

Tonight my signif and I have come up with the perfect plan for just the two of us. I'm not sharing. It's between us.

And even though it's NYE, I'm kinda looking forward to it.

Juno

We just saw it. Yes, it's good. Yes, Ellen Page is good. So's Michael Cera. And Jason Bateman. And Jennifer Garner.

It's so rare to find a truly enjoyable movie these days (and by enjoyable I mean one worth paying theater prices for) that when I do, I feel a little better about the world.

Plus, we scored matinee prices so I also feel a little better about about having paid $3.50 for my bottle of water.

Just slightly. Not entirely.

Coffee Talk

A very wise man once told me the key to good gift giving is following one rule:

Men like stuff that plugs in. Women usually don't.

Recently, I've found the first part of this to be true. The birthday Wii went over extremely well. The Christmas Grind and Brew...equally well-received.

My signif and I opened the last batch of gifts last night (the ones just between us), and while he adored all of mine (and was sufficiently forthcoming with said adoration), the coffeemaker sent from Mom and her signif was HUGE.

My guy spent a good 45 minutes setting it up, reading the manual, conducting a test run, and then walking me through a tutorial, complete with hands-on demonstration of every detailed component.

It was really something. And while the coffee this morning was pretty spectacular, it wasn't just the Dunkin Donuts beans that made it terrific. It was that I know how much love went into sending the gift, and I got to see firsthand how much pure, unadulterated joy came with receiving the gift.

It's not about the stuff and the plugs. It's about the people you care about and turning them on.

Thaim and Thaim Again

Our delivery guy just beat his old record.

14 minutes.

From time of call to time at door:

14 minutes.

I asked him tonight how he does it. He said tonight was slow. Ok, so that explains how he shaved 2 minutes off his time.

But how is he always so fast? He says it's because he doesn't want customers to wait.

I think he's a Superhero in disguise. There is no other way.

Shot Through the Heart

and bleeding cheese. I am in the car on the way back from Weems listening to Blake Lewis' debut album and weeping softly on the inside.

It's not just bad. It's atrocious. It's like caramel popcorn dipped in glitter. The purple and pink album cover should have tipped me off. But after Blake's promising originality on American Idol, I thought, maybe, just maybe, he had some talent worth supporting.

Turns out, not so much. The album's a sticky, synth-pop, overproduced 80's B-movie soundtrack that got run over by a gaggle of teenage girls and then remixed by an old school Casio keyboard stuck in bossa nova on crack.

And that's me being generous.

p.s. We just drove past Don's Turkey Shoot. I love this route.

Season's Greetings

We are off for the second Christmas celebration. Last night was one half of the family. Tonight and tomorrow is the other.

I'm lucky to be with someone who loves the holiday season. This year, we hung a garland (we thought it was a wreath), and I got my very first advent calendar. There is nothing religious about these rituals for me, but they are all fulfilling in a very different way.

Happy Holidays. May you like what you get. May you give with love. And may the calories you consume be totally worth it.

Ok, I Lied

I may actually be kinda sick. I've got a cough and some congestion and it feels like a small woodland animal curled up and died in my chest.

However, I am not convinced I can't nurse the ailment myself so I will be here - in and out of the NyQuil-induced haze.

Now, it could be the syrup talking, but courtesy of Buzzfeed (guilty pleasure. see right), I found these intriguing you-can-get-pretty-much-anything-by-the-month clubs.

Aside from the obvious Wine Club, the best of the bunch has got to be the Cheese Club (I have a slight cheese addiction). There are also the Lobster Club and the Peanut Butter Club, both of which I would imagine have to get awfully creative by month 12.

Worst? The Necktie of the Month Club. Why give one lame gift when you can give the same lame gift 12 times a year?

Mr. and Mrs. Sicklet, your table is ready

Yeah, we're both kinda sick. It sucks. I've got nothing fun to post.

More tomorrow assuming I don't cough up a lung or any other important vital organ overnight.

(Note to Mom: I'm fine. It's not a big deal. Love you.)

Perfectly Random

Last night, my signif and I started making a list of the things we know we're not good at. You should try it. It's kinda funny.

His: Small talk, kissing ass, anything bendy like yoga and toe-touching, and pull-ups.

Mine: Cooking, home improvement, pull-ups, and letting it go.

Disease of Distraction

I just watched Michael Moore's "Sicko" for the very first time. I knew a lot about the movie because we did our fair share of stories about it on "The Situation Room." You might even remember Moore's interview ginning up some press. At the time, I felt perhaps Moore was doing himself a disservice by being so belligerent and testy. After seeing the film, I'm convinced of it.

The movie is powerful and proves excellent points. Working as a freelancer and having to shell out money for both emergency care and then independent insurance, I've been frustrated for years. Seeing just how prevalent the issues are - and deep-seated the corruption is - made me furious.

But Moore shot himself in the foot by coming out swinging. Then, he took the foot right off by going to Cuba to prove a point. The film would have been just as powerful, if not more so, without that component. Having been born and raised in Miami, I am very familiar with the anti-Castro sentiment and know it's not based on some flimsy government-sponsored plot to encourage unfounded hate. I also know that Moore's controversial trip to the island shifted focus onto that excursion in particular and away from the broader theme of fixing our healthcare system. In fact, it did such a good job of masking the real agenda that I was shocked that more than an hour-and-a-half into the movie and still no sign of the 9/11 workers and the Cuban hospital. I mean, that's what was all over the news. That's what everyone was up in arms about, right? The trip makes up less than 20 minutes of the two-hour flick, and yet that's the takeaway?

It's a shame because so much needs to be done to make patients better off, doctors better off, and the overall health of our nation better off. We're ignoring the concussion to tend to the scraped knee. And by tend to I mean complain that the injured's getting blood on the rug.

Sometimes less is more, and in this case, Moore would have been better off with a little less.

Sign of the Times

We all know newspaper circulation is down because more and more people are getting their news online. You'd think that tidbit might encourage the old guard to step up its game.

For instance, if someone's paying for home delivery, the NYT might consider actually bringing the paper to her home on the day it's published. And if the driver accidentally, inadvertently (plans to not deliver the paper because he's anticipating a giant snow storm that never happens) misses a day, bringing Sunday's paper on Monday is not okay.

You know what's even less okay?

Bringing Sunday NOVEMBER 25th's paper on Monday DECEMBER 17th.

Bite me

Now we have come full circle. And not in a good way.

I have no heat.
I have no laundry.
And if the couple downstairs decides to do laundry, I lose my hot water privileges.

Who's testing me? Have I passed yet? 'Cause my No. 2 pencil is not only down, it's been chewed to a nub.

To Catch a Cold

It was a chilly weekend at Chez Jax. Turns out you can only plug in one space heater at a time in this apartment. I know because I blew a fuse trying to set up one in the living room and one in the bedroom. Who would have thought those two outlets were connected? They're nowhere near each other.

Then again, nothing in this place should really surprise me anymore.

Rumor has it the landlord's heating men will be back this afternoon. I hope so.

I caught a little head cold from sleeping in the nippy air, and the novelty of dragging the oscillating tower of warm breeze from room to room has totally worn off.

Frosty the Tenant UPDATE

So the landlord's heating guy came by and said he found the problem but wouldn't be able to get the part and fix the boiler until Monday.

Then he said the following:

"It's not supposed to be that cold this weekend. You have a gas stove, don't you? At least that'll give you some heat."

I wish I were kidding. Isn't that the one thing people who know these things tell you NOT to do when you're cold? Isn't using a gas stove for heat like Fire Safety Taboo #1?

This could be the frostbite talking, but Mr. Second Opinion's wise suggestion makes me skeptical as to his general qualifications.

Don't worry. I'm not going to do it. I have a space heater. And a brain.

Sticking Point

How does the band Sugar Ray still get radio airplay?

Mark McGrath left music to be a TV host.

It's like even he knew his music sucked.

Frosty the Tenant

My apartment has been such the project since the day I moved in (background here) that I am not the least bit surprised I now have no heat.

It's been chilly inside since it started to get chilly outside, but now the boiler's given up altogether. The heating guy was here on Wednesday. His diagnosis used words like "ancient" and "poorly maintained," and he detected a slight carbon monoxide leak in the basement. It's a shame because I like the couple in the basement. They're nice people. It'd be good if they didn't, like, die.

Anyway, rumor has it my landlord's got a second opinion coming today to take another look. In the interim, I've got a space heater in the living room that's done more to scare the cat than warm the house. Rumor has it temps will soar into the low 50's today so we should be alright in the short term. But as so eloquently expressed in an email just sent from my downstairs neighbor to my property rep: "Presumably, the boiler would have been checked out and evaluated for performance before the winter started. I am sorry if I don’t have much patience for boiler repairs in the middle of December."

He's right. If the building was in fine working condition when we moved in and this just happened, then I think we'd all be a little more understanding. But given the laundry list of issues we've all had since September (even the laundry machines are on the laundry list!), a broken boiler feels like the back-breaking straw.

Also - rent's not cheap. We're not paying bargain prices. There was no implicit agreement that we were getting a steal in exchange for some quirks. We spend a good chunk of cash each month. Heat'd be nice.

Way to Go Fresno

I've subscribed to Shoptalk since as long as I can remember. For those who don't know it (probably everyone outside the TV biz), it's the daily email newsletter from TVSpy.com, and it offers a compilation of media-related news stories and a slew of other random stuff.

I usually just skim it for the highlights, but today, one story in particular caught my eye. It's this from Broadcasting & Cable about how one local news station's trial blog inspired witnesses to come forward and testify. I clicked through to the site and was officially impressed. If you're going to follow an incident from investigation to trial to verdict, this is how to use the Internet effectively. It's also a great example of how your local station can generate online traffic. Give the audience substance that complements your TV coverage. Make your website a value-add destination.

Nice job.

Dirty Laundry

Sears came and went. The washing machine sprang a spring. Parts are on order and service needs to come back at a later date.

This means about a month without laundry.

I am not a happy camper.

Dead Plant Wilting

I kill plants. All plants. Not intentionally. But everytime my signif buys me a plant, I water it and it dies.

In my last apartment, I kept a brown plant because I was ashamed to admit I had murdered it. As long as there was one green(ish) leaf, I held out hope for resurrection.

I now own a poinsettia. It's wilting. My signif just emailed to remind me to give it water.

I emailed back to remind him to kiss it goodbye.

Immature at Heart

I've decided the key to buying good baby gifts is seriously considering what you'd like to have if you were that age again and then just going for it. This is why I give Jumperoos and "Carry me up the mountain, Mommy" backpacks.

I picked out my signif's nephew's 2nd birthday present today and opted for what can only be described as a starter Whac-a-Mole.

It's a toy with a mallet. How can that not totally rule?

What Would Jacki Watch?

My old friend Rob directed this film, and I didn't think it was coming to DC because it seems we never get cool docs here. But I just found a screening and am totally excited to go see it. Rumor has it the film is superfunny and really great. I'll let you know. In the meantime, Rob is a solid guy and at the very least, go see it to support a truly terrific human being.

Preview here:

Re:cycling

Most joggers I know hate cyclists. Come to think of it, so do most drivers I know.

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for choosing the pedal over the pump to save the planet. And I'll always encourage exercise because too many people don't get enough of it to begin with.

But many bike riders around here have this sense of uber-entitlement that drives most of us batty. What part of the "Walk Your Bike" sign is confusing? When did stoplights stop applying to you?

Don't bark at me when I fail to yield to your refusal to literally get off your ass. And it's not the car's fault you insist on the perpetual right of way. It doesn't make you right.

I was all ready to shoulder blame today when a cyclist came up on my left, and I didn't hear him over my headphones. My bad. Maybe they were a touch too loud. Then I remembered I was in a no ride zone, and I ditched apologies for defiance.

Granted, he was well past me by the time I composed my rant, but his back sure got an earful. And yes, it did sound a lot like this.

Re:gifting

My loved ones know by now I am a lousy gift-giver.

Oh, you get it. And when you get it, you get it good. But there's a standard delivery delay between event and receipt. And it's more 4-6 months than 4-6 weeks.

It's not that I don't care. It's that I care too much. I search for the perfect gift, and it invariably takes too long.

Anyway, I've started this year's holiday hunt online just to get a sense of what I might buy. And while there's no one on my list who needs these (or the USB pole dancer shown above for that matter), it's fun to share the silly stuff I come across along the way.

Speaking of ridiculous and holidays, my signif and I bought what we thought was a wreath this weekend. Turned out to be a garland. So we improvised:




Happy Monday.

Confessions of a Stripper

I'll admit it. I've been stripping for more than 10 days now. 11 to be exact.

Actually, it was my Mom who suggested I give it a try.

I started slowly. The first 4 days were less traumatic than expected. Then I upped the ante with a fresh new routine, and it's paid off.

Today's my last day. In a strange way, I think I'll miss it. But I got what I wanted out of the experience, and it's time to move on.

Go Elf Yourself

The OfficeMax application's not new, and I hate to link to CNN stuff for obvious reasons, but this is truly kind of funny.

Especially since they're out of sync.

Exercising the Demons

It's been a little too snowy/icy the last couple of days to sneak in a solid run.

I am a total Grumposaurus.

Adventures in Podcasting

Part Deux

Got the chance to chat with Captain Ed on his radio show today.

Hear it here. My intro starts around 2:45 in.

A Little Flakey

I know cats don't like water.

But I know cats like fluffy things that fly through the air.

So how do cats feel about snow?

Emmy was all excited to go outside until a flake hit her fur. Then not so much.

Happy First Snow of the Season Day.

image courtesy skippygirl uploaded to Cleveland.com

We were on a break!

I think I'm going to take a short hiatus from digesting blog fodder for a couple of days.

The universe has got some bigger stuff in store which deserves my full emotional and creative attention.

I'll be back in full-on post mood - and mode - come Wednesday.

"You're Soaking In It"

Forgive me if you've heard this one before, but there is a restaurant in Virginia that serves dinner rolls dipped in butter accompanied by two scoops of whipped butter on the side.

Who picks up a sopping roll and proclaims, "You know what this needs? More butter!"?

UPDATE: My signif has informed me that I am required to disclose that I ate one.

Put a Little Glove in Your Heart

A couple of days ago, I wrote about seeing a small girl's mitten on the side of my running route. Someone else must have been fascinated by it too because yesterday, that mitten was perched on top of a column at the end of a footbridge. It'd been stretched out over the pillar like a rubber glove. From a distance, it looked like a hat. But as I jogged closer, I noticed it was my mystery mitten.

Odd.

Anyway, Happy December.

And go here for the book above. It's about all the stuff you can do with one mitten. Cute website.